Packing Up is Hard to Do

My suitcase(s) and I are in not getting along. They hate me and I hate them. How am I supposed to get everything I'll really want from the West to the East in 2 measly suitcases and a backpack? If I were moving within the States, that'd be easy. I could buy shampoo and soap that smelled not like sewer, soap and flowers. Or chemical bubble gum fruits. If I needed face wash or face moisturizer or sunscreen or body lotion that DIDN'T chemically whiten my skin, that'd be easy to get at the grocery store. In China..not so much. I'd be able to find Tapatio hot sauce and Mexican oregano, and if I needed clothes I'd just go to whatever store was nearby to procure some hot new duds.

But in a land of small Asian women who wear the most outrageously... well, ugly clothing, it's hard for a short, buxom lass to get along. Most things are cut to emphasize or, alternately, completely diminish their meager assets. Skirts are extremely long, because every women wears heels most days no matter where or what she is doing. I wear petite here in the US because I am short. The skirts and dress in China are either as long as I am tall, or absurdly and obscenely small. That's not even mentioning the anxiety that my bra situation is raising in me. I once walked by a lingerie shop in Beijing, and paused to consider why a woman would want to wear teddy bear and lace covered, silk floral teddy.I wasn't even shopping there, because that's just not my style. The shop girl who was working looked out at me through the display window, though. She considered the manikin, considered her wares, considered my sizable assets... then, looked me straight in the eyes and shook her head. And that's just mentioning the undergarments.

My friend and I in Beijing came up with 2 game show ideas while we were there. One was called Name That Smell, which I think is straightforward and easy for everyone to play, and could be a fun China roadtrip game as well as a gameshow. I'm sure there will be repeated episodes of it here. The other is titled The Fairy SwapMother. In this game, you pick three lovely local ladies or gentlemen or a combination, and consider which articles of clothing should be swapped between them to make at least 1 legitimate outfit. It's harder than you think considering that high fashion here is essential the gross 80's leftovers from Europe and the US.

Needless to say, my bags are revolting. I am flustered and everyone really just needs a break. Packing up is hard to do.